Gloves are the Poor Man's Mittens

Things I did today:

-Downloaded some music.
-Read some romanticism.
-Bought some leather gloves.


Of all three events, I am most excited about acquiring those silly things with 5 fingers. Made from cows, they keep my hands quite warm in this cold season, which we call winter. Here are some pros and cons concerning gloves:

Pros:
-Hide Ugly Fingers
-No need for hand unsightly hand-warmers
-No chance of hand herpes
-If committing a crime, no better article of clothing.

Cons:
-Hard to type
-Unable to scratch self
-Bad thing to write a blog about
-But I do it anyways


In a complete sort of aside that I am ever so prone to, I have been spending a lot of time reading Digg. As a result, I am better informed in the two areas of interest that the internet has to offer: breaking news and lolcats. Unfortunately, the two remain somewhat independant of eachother, which saddens me. What better way to find out the state of the United States economy than a topical cat, with the caption "dis man hear sez u in a reseshun!" The Hillary Clinton jokes practically write themselves. Just a thought for future news-ographers out there.

There is leftover turkey to be eaten, so I will get to it. Goodbye, Imaginary Audience.

I am Just Like Oprah!

Sadly, I am not a middle aged black woman. I am however, going to give you a list of my favorite things, (In installments, of course) even if you do not want them. No free minivans here, though (Sorry single mothers, elementary school teachers, and disillusioned Martha Stewart fans!).

Instead,

Music!

I am a big, big fan of a lot of different musical styles, and the list on my FaceBook profile is somewhat too extensive to list, so I will focus on three. (All good lists have three parts, right? Right?)

1) Los Campesinos!

I did not put that exclamation mark there; it is in the name of its own accord (presumably, to indicate that you, the listener, are supposed to be pretty damn excited!). The music in its own right is pretty exciting. When you first play "Hold on Now, Youngster", Los Campesinos! first studio album, you get the feeling of pure energy. Classified as "British Indie Twee-Pop", a genre with entirely too many words in the name, Hold on Now, Youngster brings a solid twelve tracks, and brings them hard. Clever lyrics and catchy guitar hooks? Sign me up!

Quality Songs:
Sweet Dreams, Sweet Cheaks
You! Me! Dancing!

2) Andrew Jackson Jihad

I kid you not: Folk-Punk. And it is good. Andrew Jackson Jihad is comprised of two guys, a guitar, a stand-up bass, and whoever the hell else wants to play a song with them (a lot of tracks feature the mandolin!). Basically dominating my iPod for the past month, these guys made it onto this list with the shortest time on my computer. A solid feat. If you like some down-home strummin' with your smart, well written lyrics, check out Andrew Jackson Jihad.

Quality Songs:
Rejoice!
Personal Space Invader
People II: The Reckoning


3) Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution

What happens when Thomas Kalnoky (Of Third-Wave ska band Streetlight Manifesto and formerly of Catch 22) decides he likes symphonies? Answer: Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution. BotAR, as they are known around my blog, produced 5 amazing tracks on their first (and only, to date) studio album, "A Call To Arms". Two tracks, "Here's to Life" and "Dear Sergio:" were on Kalnoky's other releases with Streetlight Manifesto and Catch 22, but have been given a new and exciting flavor. If you take pleasure from absolutely nothing else in life, the various instrumental solos towards the conclusion of "Here's to Life" (Piano, Bongo, Guitar, Drum, Vocal) will change that. It is widely accepted amongst the scientific community that if BotAR were to release just 3 more albums, cancer could be cured.

Quality Songs:
All five. Seriously. Even the intro.

That wraps up this weeks entry of "Shit I say to the vast expanses of the internet, and all I get in return are echos and requests to follow livejournals."

Next time I am this out of things to write about, I will just ... not write.

Flock

So I am testing out this new web browser based on Mozilla Firefox called Flock. It's basically an all-in-one internet Social Networking machine. It's overwhelming at first, to be honest. I found the story on Digg, in a list of the top-10 Mac OSX applications for blogging. Oh the things you find at Digg!

So basically, this application takes every imaginable social networking site, Flickr, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Photobucket, others, and it allows you to not only access them right from an expandable/collapsible side bar, but also to manage and update them. I fired up the new and exciting OCD-machine, and decided to give it a test. As of right now, I am currently logged in to my Facebook, Digg, YouTube, Photobucket, and Blogger accounts with options for tons more. Crazy, I know, but bear with me. Here's a little video from YouTube showing some nifty features of Flock and Digg.


(Click this colorful square for a talking-picture show.)


Cool, right? And here is the crazy thing: I dragged and dropped that nonsense! It is THAT easy. Though I haven't fully explored this marvel of technology, (Which belongs right next to Sliced Bread in the "Great Things Museum"), it appears to solve the age-old dilemma, "How can I let thousands of people who don't care what I am doing, know what I am doing... faster?"

I guess it should also be mentioned that this thing can surf the web, manage and track RSS feeds, execute toolbar searches on any of the aforementioned social sites, AND look at porn, if you're in the mood. Not that anyone is, of course.

Just sayin'.

The Obligatory "Holiday!" Update- Thanksgiving Edition

Between eating the strangest assortment of foods ever seen together on a table, (If it wasn't for Thanksgiving, who would ever eat cranberries and stuffing?), listening to my Uncle lament the introduction of minorities into his quaint Gettysburg neighborhood, (something he called either "The Browning of America" or "Mexification"), and hearing everyone and their cousin make fun of my hair, ("He looks like a hippy. No. Worse."), no one seemed to want to discuss the central issue of Thanksgiving.

The Indians.

Those guys get a raw fuckin' deal, man. Smallpox? Genocide? Andrew Jackson? Casinos? White people have done some pretty messed up things to our tribal brothers. Thanksgiving is to the Indians as The Nantucket Whaling Museum is to the Endangering of Whales: open mockery. If by some act of providence, the state of Texas was forced to live on a reservation, we might celebrate some new-fangled holiday by shootin' our rifles, and wearin' our coonskin caps. Football, however, would remain part of the tradition.

I asked my (questionably) Asian friend what she planned to do over the holiday. My innocent question was met with a "Why? Do you think Asians don't celebrate Thanksgiving, man? You tryin'a be some sorta ASIAN HATER?". To be fair, that was kind of what I was thinking. Anyways, back to the Native Americans. I don't really know how that last anecdote was relevant, but hey, this is a blog. None of this shit is relevant.

Indians. Right. Anyways, when I put up my typical indignant Facebook status, (Facebook statuses are the new mood ring!), I got some comments* on it. "We didn't kill the indians, man. Diseases did." and "They were on the pilgrims land. It's manifest destiny!" I like to think these will be two of the main characters when I make first graders put on a play about the aforementioned Texas subjugation.

To summarize, people, like pigeons, are dicks.

*Spelling and grammar edited, for your viewing pleasure.

So here's an update.

Okay, so. Shit, I don't even know how to start these things. It's okay, though; I don't expect anyone to read this, ever. Well, here's a blog.

I'm talking to this Ugly Cannibal guy right now, and he suggested talking about what I did today. It was pretty bad, actually. I got a shitty haircut, (bitches love it, I guess. And if they don't, I suppose they are entitled to an opinion.), I put up some shitty lights, and I ate some shitty cookie-cake.

Okay, so some other stuff: I'm in the midst of reading two different books right now; both are pretty good. The first one, Apathy and Paying Rent (The first half of which can be found here) by a guy named Zach VandeZande. He's a pretty savvy internet character, as he formerly wrote and drew the webcomic, "Animals Have Problems Too". The book itself is sort of "What if James Joyce and Kurt Vonnegut stared in a Buddy Cop movie?" VandeZande shares a strange sort of relationship with his protagonist, Jake; He seems undecided as to how much control to exert over his creations. One moment, VandeZande is the innocent observer who simply watches events unfold, and the next he is conversing with the reader, claiming that everything Jake does is only the will of whomever is holding the pen. It's all very strange. I think VandeZande describes it best himself, when he says it is either pure genius, or completely stupid. Oh, I didn't tell you the best part; it is a metaphorical mixtape! Each chapter is a different song, and they even provide the tape for free! (Again, check out the Website.)

The second book I am reading is On the Road, by Jack Kerouac, and I would be doing you and Mr. Kerouac a disservice by even beginning to soil this book on a blog. Get 10 dollars, go to the bookstore, and buy the Scroll Edition. You may send your thank you gifts to me via FedEx.

That sums it up for today's "Venting Useless Information".
Who am I even talking to?

I haven't the foggiest.